Giovanni Bellovoce, the famous Italian tenor, agreed to undergo acupuncture to cure some recurring headaches he was suffering.
One needle was put into his scalp. He sang, "O sole mio ..."
A second needle was put in. He sang, "O sole ... "
A third needle was put in. He sang, "O ... o ... o ... "
After the fourth needle was put in, he began to sing, "Don't break my heart, my achy breaky heart ... "
Monday, November 23, 2009
Dating A Jewish Woman
Smitty used to date a Jewish woman. He liked her, but he got a secret thrill from dating a woman outside his religion and ethnicity.
One time, when they were making love, he was satisfying her so successfully that she yelled out, "O God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob!"
And when she climaxed, she said, "Holy Moses! I've been to the Promised Land!"
And one time during pillow talk after making love, she told him, "Jesus was just all right with me. He's just not all that, OK?"
One time, when they were making love, he was satisfying her so successfully that she yelled out, "O God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob!"
And when she climaxed, she said, "Holy Moses! I've been to the Promised Land!"
And one time during pillow talk after making love, she told him, "Jesus was just all right with me. He's just not all that, OK?"
Transactions By Gender
A lot of women have a hard time doing impersonal transactions.
For example, when they go to their local bank, they often go to a specific teller, or what to go to that teller.
They think: Oh, Molly's busy. I like her. I'll wait for her to get free. But I won't go to Mary Ann. She's a bitch!
A lot of men aren't like that. Their thoughts about transactions are a lot like their thoughts about sex: If you know them, that's OK, but you do it anyway.
Women, at the least, have to like them a little.
For example, when they go to their local bank, they often go to a specific teller, or what to go to that teller.
They think: Oh, Molly's busy. I like her. I'll wait for her to get free. But I won't go to Mary Ann. She's a bitch!
A lot of men aren't like that. Their thoughts about transactions are a lot like their thoughts about sex: If you know them, that's OK, but you do it anyway.
Women, at the least, have to like them a little.
Take Me To Manhattan
Rick The Hick had saved his pennies, nickles, and dimes -- along with a few quarters -- until he finally had enough money to do what he had wanted to do since he was a teenager:
Take a trip to New York City.
He took the train from his small, rural midwestern town to Grand Central Station.
Once he was off the train, he got outside the station and hailed a taxi.
He got into a taxi and told the cabbie:
"Take me to Manhattan!"
The cabbie turned around and said:
"Buddy boy, this IS Manhattan."
He then added:
"Did you say that to see if I was awake? And if I understood English?"
Take a trip to New York City.
He took the train from his small, rural midwestern town to Grand Central Station.
Once he was off the train, he got outside the station and hailed a taxi.
He got into a taxi and told the cabbie:
"Take me to Manhattan!"
The cabbie turned around and said:
"Buddy boy, this IS Manhattan."
He then added:
"Did you say that to see if I was awake? And if I understood English?"
Past Actions, Future Predictions
Those who are abused -- in the future, they abuse.
Those who were teased -- in their future, they tease.
Those who were molested -- in their future, they molest.
Sometimes, I wonder why this is, especially for molestation.
One reason, I believe, is this:
Subconsciously, the molester who was molested definitely isn't happy. And when he see happy children, he's often jealous of their happiness and wants to take it from them.
Those who were teased -- in their future, they tease.
Those who were molested -- in their future, they molest.
Sometimes, I wonder why this is, especially for molestation.
One reason, I believe, is this:
Subconsciously, the molester who was molested definitely isn't happy. And when he see happy children, he's often jealous of their happiness and wants to take it from them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
