Some Offbeat Christmas Carols

For schizophrenics:
Do you hear what I hear?

For people with multiple personality disorders:
We three kings disoriented are ...

For narcissists:
Hark the herald angels sing -- only for me!

For manic people:
Deck the halls and walls and houses and lawns and streets and sidewalks and stores and offices and buildings and towns and cities and cars and buses and trucks and trees and bushes and cats and dogs ...

For depressed people:
Santa Claus is coming? What for?

For paranoids:
Santa Claus is coming ... for ME!

For people with attention deficit disorders:
Silent night, holy night ... oooooh, look at the nativity scene ... pretty! ... awwwww baby Jesus awwwww ... aw mother mary aw ... chocolate! ... eggnog! ... yeah, I want some ... hey, why is Santa's suit red?

For people with obsessive compulsive disorders:
Jingle bells jingle bells jingle bells jingle bells jingle bells jingle bells jingle bells ...