Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving

I wish that everyone I know and for everyone who reads my blog.

I have one exception, though. His initials are H.S. He's from Cincinnati. And he's native American: Half Iroquois, if I remember correctly, and half another tribe whose name I forgot.

This day, for him, is like Adolf Hitler's birthday for a Jew, however orthodox.

Also, it's one month by the calendar and 31 days total until Christmas. If you aren't going out tomorrow to shop, be thankful for that.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The Taste ... And The Crave...

wolf: one time when i was masturbating...i tasted my own sperm!

c-zee: wolf, that's just fuckin' sick...but...i'm curious...how the hell did you do that...?

wolf: well...I hadn't jacked off for a while...and the pressure was so strong...it just shot up high on my chest...i just reached down and dipped a finger in the was...then put it up to my mouth...

c-zee: what did it taste like...?

wolf: well...there's one way to find out...

c-zee: fuck you...i'm not gay...!

wolf: nah man...i don't mean that...just do what i did and taste your own...then it's not gay...vain probably...narcissistic definitely...but it's not gay...

d-jon: don't do it c-zee...if you taste your own sperm it'll turn you...homosexual...!

wolf: fuck off d-jon...i've never had any desire to suck any cock...

d-jon: wait...it'll come... it's like eating at white castle...once you do you develop...

THE CRAVE...!

this is how it starts....so listen and listen well...

you eat at white castle and you don't eat there for a while...but all of a sudden out of nowhere you're craving a sack full of sliders...and you'll travel any time...between midnight and 4 a.m...and travel any distance and go through all types of bad weather...like heavy rain or heavy snowfall or heavy fog...to satisfy and fulfill your craving...but it's fulfilled for only a while...the crave returns...once you get it, it never goes away...never fully vanishes...

now...say you're lying in bed in the middle of the night...you wake and you're horny...so you jack off...you produce your man cream...and since you're half asleep and you've just jacked off your judgment is impaired...you wonder what it tastes like...so you dip your finger in it and bring it to your mouth...you taste it and DAMN if you don't want more...you gobble the rest of it down...but it's not enough...and you can't get hard so you can jack off for a while...so you find the places where men suck off other men to fulfill their perverted addictions...and the next time THE CRAVE hits you drive there...most of those men, believe it or not, were 100 percent heterosexual before they became addicted to sperm...it's an addiction that's as hard to break as an addiction to cigarettes or heroin...

wolf: well d-jon...if it comes to that...where are some of those places...?

c-zee: d-jon knows where they are because he goes to them all the time...probably has his favorites there...sends them birthday and christmas cards...

d-jon: you are mistaken c-zee...i know about those places because i have what you would call a...sociological interest...in this issue...and i read the police reports in the newspapers where the cops bust guys for sucking off each other in public places...

wolf: okay d-jon, but...man cream?...what the fuck?

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Batman Versus...The Milkman?

Ace: I saw this on the net. Some guy said, "I want to watch a piece of cheese kill Batman." That might be an interesting fight.

Deuce: One piece of cheese wouldn't be enough to kill Batman.

Ace: I knew he was tougher than damn dairy product.

Deuce: Instead, it would have to be several thousand pieces of cheese. And if they killed Batman, it wouldn't be in a fight...at least not directly...

Ace: What?

Deuce: Say Batman, in his secret identify of Bruce Wayne, eats a lot of dairy products like milk that's not low in fat and rich cheeses and butter and not margerine and ice cream and so forth. His body and physiology might have a tendency to produce or retain cholesterol. The walls of his arteries and veins might get heavily coated with cholesterol, causing possible blockage. And he might have a heart attack or stroke...possibly fatal...because the blood doesn't flow properly through his body. An incident might be especially provoked during a vigorous fight against some villians or even one villian.

Ace: So... the cheese is a stealth killer!

Deuce: If he has one of those incidents, he could be crippled until he dies. It depends on the severity of the incident and the medical treatment he gets afterward. If that would happen, it would be more fiendish that anything the Joker or any of his enemies could do to him.

Ace: Dammmmmmmmmm! That's...interesting.

Deuce: And that's why I tell you to cut back on the dairy.

Friday, November 12, 2010

The NFL: A Few Notes...

Halfway through the 2010 season. I wanted to wait until every team has played at least eight games -- half of the regular 16-game schedule.

The hometown Indianapolis Colts are 5-3 and coming off a 26-24 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles. Coming up are the Cincinnati Bengals Sunday in Indianapolis.

Up to 23 Colts have missed a total of 63 games because of injuries. Four of them -- strong safeties Melvin Bullitt and Bob Sanders, tight end Dallas Clark, and wide receiver Anthony Gonzales -- are out for the season. Running back Joseph Addai, linebacker Clint Sessions and Gary Brackett, and cornerback Jarraud Powers have missed a total of eight games.

All of the above named are big contributors to the team.

Wide receiver and problem child Terrell Owens has found a home with the Bengals and could give the Colts' defense problems.

After the Bengals, the Colts play their biggest nemesis -- The New England Patriots -- a week from Sunday in Foxboro, Mass. After that come the San Diego Chargers and a resurgent Oakland Raiders along with a rematch with division rivals the Jacksonville Jaguars and two games against the Tennessee Titans.

With this before them, though, the Colts should -- I repeat, should -- qualify for the layoffs. But don't be surprised if they miss them.

Of course, if Peyton Manning is injured and out for the season, the whole thing is kaput.

At least the Colts don't have the soap opera-like problems of the Minnesota Vikings and the Dallas Cowboys.

The Vikings had to go to Mississippi to cajole quarterback Brett Favre to return. They are now 3-5 and he has not looked good at times. But last week he led the Vikings to a 27-24 comeback victory over the Arizona Cardinals. If they had lost the game, they would've been 2-6 and head coach Brad Childress might have been fired.

It's been said that the players have little respect for their head coach, especially Favre, who calls most of his own plays against Childress' advice.

And Randy Moss, another wide receiver and problem child, was with the team for only four games. He was traded from the Patriots in October but was traded two weeks ago to the Tennessee. This gives Titans Titans Vince Young a long threat, which is something the team has lacked and something for the Colts to be concerned with.

The Cowboys were favored by some before the start of the season to play in the Super Bowl. However they're 1-7 and lost last Sunday night 41-7 to the New York Giants on national television. Some said the team had quit during that game. This record and the lack of effort led to the dismissal of head coach Wade Phillips and the elevation of offensive co-ordinator Jason Garrett to lead the team.

I'm sure this pains Cowboys owner/chief narcissist Jerry Jones because the Super Bowl will be played in Dallas' new billion-dollar stadium.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Old Gold And Blue, Fading Away

Western Michigan? Tulsa?

Notre Dame football fans, I tell you this: You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. These two teams are NOT great tests on the gridiron.

You ought to face this fact: the Fighting Irish are no longer a national football powerhouse and hasn't been one for the last few years. I don't know exactly why that happened, but one reason, I believe, is that it can no longer get premier players because of its strict academic requirements.

(It's not because football players are by nature stupid. But if you had a choice of spending most of your time practicing and playing football, as the professionals do, or dividing your time between going to classes and studying or football, the ones focused on football will have the advantage.

( I'm looking at you, Southeastern Conference schools. All of you, except for Vanderbilt, are not know for your academics. You continue and perpetuate the idea that in the South, "book larnin'" is for sissies and faggots.)

Notre Dame's record so far this season is 4-5. It lost -- yes, lost -- to Tulsa 28-27 last Saturday. It lost to Navy for the second straight year after a decades-long record of beating the Middies and also to a Michigan team that is down this season.

The Irish will now rest and recuperate until their next game November 13 against...Utah. Good luck , Irish. And after I wrote that sentence, I was surprised that I wished them good luck against Utah.

But Notre Dame fans still continue and want to think the Irish are a national powerhouse, and run off/fire any coach who doesn't get them a national title, let alone a Top Ten standing.

Face it: Your team is like Army and Navy. They're in Division I, the big boy category in college football, because of tradition. They ought to be in Division I-A.

They have faded, just like Ivy League football faded when the Big Ten came to prominence, and the Big Ten faded (for a while, though) when the SEC and the Pac-8 (now Pac-10) came into prominence.

As for the whole scene around the team, I have mixed feelings. Notre Dame football is like Jesus; the two of them are good in and of and by themselves, but some of their fans are among the biggest assholes you will ever meet.

That's especially noticeable for some Irish fans in the Indianapolis area. They react to critics and criticisms of the football team as if they're anti-Catholic.

There was the South Bend radio fool who said God gave Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio a heart attack for cheating against Notre Dame. If you want more details, click here for the details.

This is the kind of ignorant foolishness that some Irish fans would've believed back in the 1950s and early 1960s. I think he was kidding, but some people might've thought he wasn't.

(Michigan State, by the way, defeated Notre Dame 34-31 in overtime on Sept. 18.)


That outlook has much to do with the provincial and inward mentality -- parochial, in other words -- of midwestern Catholics. Surrounded by Protestants/heretics/non believers, they turn inward in fear of persecution or corruption by these influences outside their church.

I remind you that 50 years ago, when John Kennedy ran against Richard Nixon for president, many people wondered if Kennedy's loyalties would to be toward the United States or the Vatican. And 90 years ago, when the Ku Klux Klan dominated state politics, the Klan was known to be anti-Catholic, besides being anti-semitic and anti-black.

Notre Dame, although you lost to Tulsa, you might -- might -- go to a bowl. It won't be one of the big bowls, though, and you probably won't be going to any big bowls in the future.

NOTE: This is a post updated from one I wrote October 26. A few additions were needed to make it more relevant.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Two Poems About Marriage

I didn't write these. I found them on the net.

In
her $667.16
satin wedding gear
she said,
"I do!"
and high heeled
it
to the champaign.

By the way, I believe $667 and change for a satin wedding dress and accessories is very cheap. The poem must've been written when that amount was a high price.

Marriage
is
two
people in love
standing
in
the same
bathroom.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Look At The Floor

Adamas was on the way to Florida for a vacation he deeply wanted because he had tolerated a hard winter in the Midwest.

Halfway through Georgia, he checked into a motel.

He was dozing off and his attention was halfway focused on whatever was on the television set when he heard from the room next to his a slap-slap-slap sound along with a man and a woman moaning.

After Adamas realized that they were fucking, he heard a man's voice say, "Don't look at me. Look at the floor."

He heard someone mumble, slightly. He couldn't tell if it was "Rye?" or "Why?"

Then he heard the man said, "Because you're guilty."

That definitely caught Adamas' attention.

After a brief silence, the slap-slap-slap of their bodies, along with their moans and groans, started up again. The man moaned loudly. Afterward, all was quiet.

Then Adamas thought, for the first time in decades, of a woman who lived in his dormitory when he was a freshman in college. Her name was McSomething -- McKenzie, McIntosh -- he didn't remember. She had reddish-yellow hair, a larger-than -average nose and a slightly chipped front tooth. She was a little overweight and also wore too much makeup because her cheeks were a prominently darker-than-usual pink.

He didn't see much of her after his freshman year and had not thought of her since he left college. But when he thought about her in the motel, his cock grew hard.

Adamas imagined McSomething kneeling on the bed with a white nightgown hiked up to her waist and covering her head. Her ass and thighs were big. They and her pussy were exposed to him.

He stroked his cock and came as he imagined the two of them fucking to a mutual climax.

Crazies Outside Of Smoke-Filled Rooms

I have this one thing to add. Strangely enough, I haven't seen or heard anyone write or say anything about it.

If it had been up to the old-fashioned nominating process, the crazies wouldn't have been on the ballot.

The Tea Party was behind nominating some Republican candidates with very extreme views. The two most prominent were Sharron Angle for the Senate in Nevada and Christine O'Donnell for the Senate in Delaware.

(If you want to read about some of their views, use your most favored search engine. I'm too lazy to post them here and I'd don't want such idiotic views taking up space in my blog.)

To get their nominations, Angle beat Sue Lowden, a former state Republican party chairman, while O'Donnell beat Mike Castle, a former U.S. Representatives.

It's no coincidence that they were nominated in a direct primary, because they wouldn't have gotten close if the decision had been left to a party-wide convention.

Sure, back in the past there were some shady deals done in back rooms far from public view and full of cigar smoke. But by God, the party bosses did not nominate any crazies for office.

Both ladies, thankfully, lost.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The Beauty In Life

I got a brief note last week from Frank. I'll post it here:

at times i wonder how it is that anything beautiful is ever said in this world... people are ranting about sex and politics and the like...always ranting...and then all of a sudden I hear people make beautiful comments on, say, on love...or the winter snow ...or the pancake breakfast they ate that morning...it seems those comments and others like them would shrivel under the weight of the ugly comments said around them. ..but then i guess that's life...you have to push through the senseless refuse of the human condition to find something worthy...

I replied:

Frank, I beg to differ. Not all of the things said around me lately are about sex or even politics. About two-thirds to three-fourths of them...too many for my taste...have been by people complaining about their lousy love affairs. They bore me.

As for me, it's been a long time since love was in my life, the winter snow hasn't fallen yet, and i don't eat pancakes for breakfast. That's why I don't write about those things.

And this, to me, is life: A bunch of diamonds scattered and hidden in a field of mud, sand, rocks and dung. You're lucky if you ever find more than a few during your life.

Monday, November 1, 2010

One Thing Done At Least...

I didn't post during the last two days because I had several things to do and I wanted to put some time and effort into them. I had put off doing many of them for too, too long. The weekend gave me a good start toward getting them done.

However, I only got a few things done. They were minor. The paralysis of my soul continues.

One thing I did was getting candy for the beggars/urchins who might've stopped by Sunday night for Halloween trick or treating. I usually get few to no visitors; but I was prepared, as the Boy Scouts suggested.

But I had no visitors, just as I thought would happen. I looked out my kitchen window and saw some of the kids who live in the apartment complex, along with their parents, walking away from the complex and toward neighboring streets.

Now I have a bowl full of 22 bite-sized Milky Way bars. I admit I ate a few of them before Sunday evening. I'll get them out of my reach and put them in my kitchen. That way if I want some, I must get up and move.

I hope you had a good Halloween. And I remind you that, as of today, it's only 25 days until Thanksgiving, 55 days until Christmas, and 61 days until New Year's Eve.