Sunday, April 12, 2009

If You're A Mofo

If you're a mofo, you love your mother -- but in the wrong way.
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If there's a near riot close to you, get away from it as far as you can.
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The lacerations of failure, of frustrations, and their deputies were on and in her face.
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She was one of those women who was a sorority sister at a second-rate of third-rate college -- a teachers' college that tried to dignify itself by adding the word university to its hame.

He wonder if she was naturally ignorant and stupid, or if alcohol and tanning sessions had affected her brain.
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A new word I heard lately is confusement. I think it's self explanatory.
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Love was the word that defined and dignified his desire.
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He made a mad dash to the door.

That's opposed to a sane dash, which is another name for a brisk walk.
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I said to Actress X: "You're always willing to get naked, and I'm always willing to watch."
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Put that bitch's body on a platform, make sure it's 10 feet off the ground, and let the buzzards feast on it.
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A band plays instruments. A group just sings.

So the phrase "boy band" is wrong, wrong, wrong!

Besides, you never hear of a marching group.
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Lust, for the male, is the only visible deadly sin because of the erect penis. It can be flaccid during the other ones.
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My friends drug me to what they called a gentlemen's club and what I called a titty bar.

While I was there, I saw a stripper who was so fuggly, I dressed her with my eyes.
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He once told a woman: "Shut your fucking mouth and close your fucking legs, bitch. No one wants to see your open holes."
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What is the cutoff age when kids stop being brats and start being punks?
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Meltage: The state of melting ice or snow.
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Cootage: The state of having cooties.
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The movie was bad. It wasn't released countrywide. More likely, it escaped.
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I don't date a crazy woman because I don't want to be a supporting actor in her psychodrama.
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I once owned an old T-shirt that's a few washings away from falling apart.

It wasn't on its last legs. It was on its last arms.

So I cut it up to use as rags.
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When he was a teenager in the early 1970s, a lot of his classmates left school at lunch time to smoke marijuana.

They were definitely putting the HIGH in high school.

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