Friday, September 17, 2010

The Nature Of Hell

In a physics class at a nearby college, the professor asked this question on the final for extra credit:

Is Hell endothermic or exothermic?

(NOTE: In layman's language, does Hell absorb heat and therefore get hotter? Or does it release heat and therefore get colder?)

One student wrote:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into Hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in Hell. Boyle's Law states that if the temperature and pressure in Hell is to stay the same, then the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.

So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose: That is, Hell is exothermic.

Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over: That is, Hell is endothermic.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given by Ms. Theresa Banyan during my freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I go out with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having a date with her, the second case cannot be true.

Therefore, Hell is exothermic.

The student was the only one who got the extra credit.

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