He was a business major in college. He received a bachelor's degree in science in the field of marketing -- that is, sales.
Because of the requirements for his major, he never took many humanities classes, like art and literature. Therefore, he didn't know that profit was a sure sign of quality.
Worse, because of the requirements for his major, he never took any philosophy. Therefore, he didn't know that profit was a sure sign of morality.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Some Takes On Ayn Rand
I wrote of libertarians in a post last Wednesday. If you'd like to read it, please click here or feel free to scroll down to it.
The post caused me to think about Ayn Rand, their unholy combination of patron saint and blessed mother. Then I also remembered I had a few things about her that I had collected from the internet.
I post here for your entertainment or enlightenment.
The first is a graphic:
(Please click to increase size)
Then there are these three vignettes:
How He Reads Ayn Rand
I read half a page of one of her books and think:
HOLY FUCK! I HATE YOU AYN RAND! RAAAAAAAAAGE! RAGE! RAGE! RAGE! RAAAAAAAAAGE!
I throw the book across the room.
I pick up the book about a half hour later. I read another half a page and think:
THIS BITCH HAS TO BE BULLSHITTING EVERYBODY! FFFFFUUUUUHKK YOOOOO BITCH!
I throw the book across the room.
I repeat this until the book is completely read.
The exception is Anthem, because it's easy enough to enjoy as a decent story and you can look past the screamingly blatant hurr-durr-dumb-commies undertones in it.
(From the infamous forum/chat board 4chan.)
Ayn Rand Back In The Day
Her diaries from that time (the 1920s), when she worked as a receptionist and an extra in Hollywood movies, lay out the Nietzschian mentality that underlies all her later writings. The local newspapers were filled for months with stories about William Hickman, a serial killer who kidnapped Marian Parker, a 12-year-old girl, from her junior high school. He raped and killed her, then dismembered her body. He sent parts of it along with letters of mockery to the police. Rand wrote long stretches of prose in praise of him; she said he represented 'the amazing picture of a man with no regard whatsoever for all that a society holds sacred, and with a consciousness all his own. (He is) a man who really stands alone in action and in soul. Other people do not exist for him and he does not see why they should.' She called him 'a brilliant, unusual, exceptional boy,' shimmering with 'immense, explicit egotism.' Rand had only one regret: 'A strong man can eventually trample society under its feet. That boy was not strong enough.'
(From Slate: http://www.slate.com/id/2233966/)
Two Novels
There are two novels that can change a bookish 14-year old's life. They are The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes. That often leads to an emotionally stunted and socially crippled adulthood where the readers of the novel are unable to deal with the real world.
The other novel, of course, involves orcs.
(Site of origin not noted. My error.)
The post caused me to think about Ayn Rand, their unholy combination of patron saint and blessed mother. Then I also remembered I had a few things about her that I had collected from the internet.
I post here for your entertainment or enlightenment.
The first is a graphic:
(Please click to increase size)Then there are these three vignettes:
How He Reads Ayn Rand
I read half a page of one of her books and think:
HOLY FUCK! I HATE YOU AYN RAND! RAAAAAAAAAGE! RAGE! RAGE! RAGE! RAAAAAAAAAGE!
I throw the book across the room.
I pick up the book about a half hour later. I read another half a page and think:
THIS BITCH HAS TO BE BULLSHITTING EVERYBODY! FFFFFUUUUUHKK YOOOOO BITCH!
I throw the book across the room.
I repeat this until the book is completely read.
The exception is Anthem, because it's easy enough to enjoy as a decent story and you can look past the screamingly blatant hurr-durr-dumb-commies undertones in it.
(From the infamous forum/chat board 4chan.)
Ayn Rand Back In The Day
Her diaries from that time (the 1920s), when she worked as a receptionist and an extra in Hollywood movies, lay out the Nietzschian mentality that underlies all her later writings. The local newspapers were filled for months with stories about William Hickman, a serial killer who kidnapped Marian Parker, a 12-year-old girl, from her junior high school. He raped and killed her, then dismembered her body. He sent parts of it along with letters of mockery to the police. Rand wrote long stretches of prose in praise of him; she said he represented 'the amazing picture of a man with no regard whatsoever for all that a society holds sacred, and with a consciousness all his own. (He is) a man who really stands alone in action and in soul. Other people do not exist for him and he does not see why they should.' She called him 'a brilliant, unusual, exceptional boy,' shimmering with 'immense, explicit egotism.' Rand had only one regret: 'A strong man can eventually trample society under its feet. That boy was not strong enough.'
(From Slate: http://www.slate.com/id/2233966/)
Two Novels
There are two novels that can change a bookish 14-year old's life. They are The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes. That often leads to an emotionally stunted and socially crippled adulthood where the readers of the novel are unable to deal with the real world.
The other novel, of course, involves orcs.
(Site of origin not noted. My error.)
Suze
I was off the internet during most of today; in fact, I wasn't even near a computer most of the day.
So I turn on my computer around 4 p.m., get on the internet, and see this sad story:
Suze Rotolo, Bob Dylan's longtime girlfriend during his fledgling days as a Greenwich Village folk singer and the woman who appears alongside him on the famous cover of "The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan," passed away this weekend at her home in Manhattan following a long illness, Rolling Stone reports. Rotolo was 67.
In addition to forever being captured on the Don Hunstein-photographed "Freewheelin' " cover, Rotolo's three-year relationship with Dylan, from 1961 to 1964, also inspired him to write three of his early love songs, "Don't Think Twice, It's Alright," "Tomorrow is a Long Time," and "Boots of Spanish Leather." (Dylan's breakup with Rotolo also influenced one of his most vitriolic tunes, "Ballad in Plain D," a song Dylan later regretted recording.) Rotolo is also acknowledged for pushing Dylan toward the political awareness that flavored his Greenwich Village work.
So I turn on my computer around 4 p.m., get on the internet, and see this sad story:
Suze Rotolo, Bob Dylan's longtime girlfriend during his fledgling days as a Greenwich Village folk singer and the woman who appears alongside him on the famous cover of "The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan," passed away this weekend at her home in Manhattan following a long illness, Rolling Stone reports. Rotolo was 67.
In addition to forever being captured on the Don Hunstein-photographed "Freewheelin' " cover, Rotolo's three-year relationship with Dylan, from 1961 to 1964, also inspired him to write three of his early love songs, "Don't Think Twice, It's Alright," "Tomorrow is a Long Time," and "Boots of Spanish Leather." (Dylan's breakup with Rotolo also influenced one of his most vitriolic tunes, "Ballad in Plain D," a song Dylan later regretted recording.) Rotolo is also acknowledged for pushing Dylan toward the political awareness that flavored his Greenwich Village work.
"All is gone, all is gone, admit it, take flight. I gagged twice, doubled, tears blinding my sight. My mind it was mangled, I ran into the night. Leaving all of love's ashes behind me," Dylan wrote in "Ballad in Plain D" after his breakup with Rotolo. "The wind knocks my window, the room it is wet. The words to say I'm sorry, I haven't found yet. I think of her often and hope whoever she's met, will be fully aware of how precious she is."
In the many writings about the pair, their relationship is invariably described as "tumultuous" or "rocky." In its obituary for Rotolo, The New York Times points to her autobiography, "A Freewheelin' Time: A Memoir of Greenwich Village in the 60s" where she describes her difficulty with being a "boyfriend's 'chick,' a string on his guitar."
Following her August 1963 breakup with Dylan, Rotolo reunited with film editor Enzo Bartoccioli, who she met in Italy a year earlier. She later married Bartoccioli, and the couple remained together until her death this weekend. Over the past decades, Rotolo rarely spoke about her time with Dylan, but that changed within the past few years. She was interviewed for Martin Scorsese's Dylan documentary "No Direction Home," and later authored the highly regarded biography "A Freewheelin' Time: A Memoir of Greenwich Village in the Sixties." Rotolo was also a noted illustrator and artist.
She was the woman in the famous iconic album cover of The Freewheeling Bob Dylan: One of my favorite records. Here it is:
I read her book either last year or during 2009; I've forgotten exactly when. I remember little of it now as I think about it. But it had an explanation, which I finally understood, of the idea of the grapevine: How the vines on a grape arbor get tangled and go off in all different directions, like talk often can.
(News story from Amplifier, a music blog at Yahoo.com.)
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Libertarians
I've found that there are usually two types of libertarians.
The ones on the right mostly are upset about money. They are upset with the size of the governments, especially the federal government, and the amount of taxes used to run them.
The ones on the left mostly are upset about power. They want the government out of their lives so they can smoke marijuana, fuck their same-sex lover, or not have Christianity shoved into them in public spaces.
For the record, I've found the second type, who I call left libertarians, to be more interesting than the others, who I call right libertarians. If you take away the money and the goods and services the right libertarians buy with them, there's not much, if any, to them. They're as boring as many a small town, churchgoing Republican businessman. And just as interested in social acceptance.
The left libertarians are more outlaw and scofflaw and bohemian in outlook and often are not that boring. They have interests that don't cost much, if anything.
The ones on the right mostly are upset about money. They are upset with the size of the governments, especially the federal government, and the amount of taxes used to run them.
The ones on the left mostly are upset about power. They want the government out of their lives so they can smoke marijuana, fuck their same-sex lover, or not have Christianity shoved into them in public spaces.
For the record, I've found the second type, who I call left libertarians, to be more interesting than the others, who I call right libertarians. If you take away the money and the goods and services the right libertarians buy with them, there's not much, if any, to them. They're as boring as many a small town, churchgoing Republican businessman. And just as interested in social acceptance.
The left libertarians are more outlaw and scofflaw and bohemian in outlook and often are not that boring. They have interests that don't cost much, if anything.
Experts
I tend to be skeptical about experts, especially if they have advice on how to improve my life.
Some of them have good intentions but don't know any better either through ignorance of other ways or unwillingness to learn.
Some are not truly concerned with you and your problems and issues. They have their own agenda, which you should...or must...follow.
Some are outright frauds.
Some are good. I would use them as advisors; take what they recommend under serious consideration before you act on those recommendations.
I came to think that way about them after I went to a couple of psychotherapists. I thought: Why not get friends or lover to talk with? Hiring someone to listen to you talk is like hiring a prostitute for sex.
But I found out that they can give an outside perspective that you could use.
Some of them have good intentions but don't know any better either through ignorance of other ways or unwillingness to learn.
Some are not truly concerned with you and your problems and issues. They have their own agenda, which you should...or must...follow.
Some are outright frauds.
Some are good. I would use them as advisors; take what they recommend under serious consideration before you act on those recommendations.
I came to think that way about them after I went to a couple of psychotherapists. I thought: Why not get friends or lover to talk with? Hiring someone to listen to you talk is like hiring a prostitute for sex.
But I found out that they can give an outside perspective that you could use.
Twenty Best Things
I've found an interesting interactive site on the net. It's called bestthings.info, where you choose which of two choices set b efore you that you like best.
If you don't like either choice, you can write your own and add it to the bank of choices.
It also has listed the 20 top choices. They are:
If you don't like either choice, you can write your own and add it to the bank of choices.
It also has listed the 20 top choices. They are:
- Being outside at night when it's the perfect temperature
- Waking up to your crush knocking on the door and proceeding to make mad monkey love all afternoon
- Being able find the perfect, witty response to everything someone says to you
- Being able to come up with comebacks right away
- Having a 100 percent sarcastic conversation with someone who thinks you're serious
- Meeting that 1 percent of the population that you actually get along with and can call your friend
- Being able to teleport anywhere you wanted just by willing yourself to
- Be able to do anything, I said ANYTHING!
- Having a pair of magical pants that always have money in its pockets
- The ability to make every woman in a room simultaneously hit orgasm simply by walking in.
- Secret passages behind bookshelves
- Hair that does whatever you want just by thinking about it
- Discover that you can stop time at will
- Saying the perfect comeback at the perfect time.
- Having crazy mind control abilities
- Movies that get better every time you see them.
- Having feet. It's pretty awesome.
- Being able to read minds...and being awfully good looking.
- Finding a lamp with a genie who offers you three wishes, and you can wish for more wishes.
- One of your personal best things in the world that isn't listed here.
A Few Thoughs About Humor
One
I have found the internet equivalent of wit:
Not using LOL or emoticons like :) after you tell a joke.
If you use them, it's as if you don't trust your audience is smart enough to get the joke.
Two
Laughter has two effects for the hurt soul: A medicine to sooth and heal it, or a shield to cover it.
I'm reminded of this when I thought of an episode of Friends, when Phoebe dated a psychotherapist. After he met Chandler, he said, "I don't know if I want to be around when the laughter stops and the crying begins."
Three
A joke. I don't know if it's original to me, or if I read it on the internet and wrote it out subconsciously:
Q: What's the name of the guy who made Citizen Kane but he was also known for setting buildings on fire?
A: Arson Welles.
I have found the internet equivalent of wit:
Not using LOL or emoticons like :) after you tell a joke.
If you use them, it's as if you don't trust your audience is smart enough to get the joke.
Two
Laughter has two effects for the hurt soul: A medicine to sooth and heal it, or a shield to cover it.
I'm reminded of this when I thought of an episode of Friends, when Phoebe dated a psychotherapist. After he met Chandler, he said, "I don't know if I want to be around when the laughter stops and the crying begins."
Three
A joke. I don't know if it's original to me, or if I read it on the internet and wrote it out subconsciously:
Q: What's the name of the guy who made Citizen Kane but he was also known for setting buildings on fire?
A: Arson Welles.
The Tabloid Mind
On the Internet, I recently came across a site that showed a series of pictures of celebrities, mostly women, without makeup.
It reminded me of what I've learned of the tabloid mind.
The tabloids -- that includes publications like The National Enquirer, television shows like TMZ, and certain web sites -- will often built up celebrities. With the same effort, they will tear them down.
Sometimes it'll be with pictures that are somewhat silly, like celebrities out shopping while wearing very casual clothes. Often, and with a meaner attitude, they show female celebrities who make a living from their beauty without makeup. At times, they look like horrid hags.
It also will show some celebrities at personal bottoms in their lives, such as when they are under the influence of drugs and alcohol or in terrible medical condition.
They follow hierarchy but will secretly mock it.
Another example of the tabloid mind is denouncing the loss of public morality while running pictures of topless women. This happens in England and not in the United States.
(By the way, I've yet to see a general magazine published in this country that ran pictures of a fully naked female bosom, showing especially show the nipples.)
The tabloids, if you want to describe its political outlook, is conservative: Bowling to traditional authority and a strong flag-waving jingoism that has crossed the line from patriotism to nationalism. This is dominant in the lower middle classes and working classes, the traditional tabloid audience. And it is why the proles, such as they are, will never be in the vanguard of any revolution.
It is no coincidence that Rupert Murdoch's media outlets, like The New York Post and Fox News, have this as an approach.
It reminded me of what I've learned of the tabloid mind.
The tabloids -- that includes publications like The National Enquirer, television shows like TMZ, and certain web sites -- will often built up celebrities. With the same effort, they will tear them down.
Sometimes it'll be with pictures that are somewhat silly, like celebrities out shopping while wearing very casual clothes. Often, and with a meaner attitude, they show female celebrities who make a living from their beauty without makeup. At times, they look like horrid hags.
It also will show some celebrities at personal bottoms in their lives, such as when they are under the influence of drugs and alcohol or in terrible medical condition.
They follow hierarchy but will secretly mock it.
Another example of the tabloid mind is denouncing the loss of public morality while running pictures of topless women. This happens in England and not in the United States.
(By the way, I've yet to see a general magazine published in this country that ran pictures of a fully naked female bosom, showing especially show the nipples.)
The tabloids, if you want to describe its political outlook, is conservative: Bowling to traditional authority and a strong flag-waving jingoism that has crossed the line from patriotism to nationalism. This is dominant in the lower middle classes and working classes, the traditional tabloid audience. And it is why the proles, such as they are, will never be in the vanguard of any revolution.
It is no coincidence that Rupert Murdoch's media outlets, like The New York Post and Fox News, have this as an approach.
Justifications
A few days ago, I came across a picture of "The Altar," a poem by English poet George Herbert.
Here it is:
Its form makes it a pattern poem, which is a 17th century version of concrete poetry.
Herbert also was a member of the school one of metaphysical poets; John Donne was the most famous of them. To these poets, religion and lust are often co-equivalent.
Then I thought of a person who once told me that sex was like a sacrament. When I heard that, I rolled my eyes are one of the most foolish things that men do:
Using God, their beliefs in it, and its power to justify your beliefs.
I'm reminded of the Roman Catholic Church, which considers all -- all -- sexual activity sinful unless it's between a husband and wife to conceive children.
I would respect organized religion in general and Christianity specifically if they were not so quick to use God as their theological support for anything they want.
Here it is:
Its form makes it a pattern poem, which is a 17th century version of concrete poetry.
Herbert also was a member of the school one of metaphysical poets; John Donne was the most famous of them. To these poets, religion and lust are often co-equivalent.
Then I thought of a person who once told me that sex was like a sacrament. When I heard that, I rolled my eyes are one of the most foolish things that men do:
Using God, their beliefs in it, and its power to justify your beliefs.
I'm reminded of the Roman Catholic Church, which considers all -- all -- sexual activity sinful unless it's between a husband and wife to conceive children.
I would respect organized religion in general and Christianity specifically if they were not so quick to use God as their theological support for anything they want.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
ess & ess
eliot ness...
loch ness...
it's all strangeness
miss agnes...
and to that i will confess...
so with my mind
please do not mess...
or things will get crazy...
no need to guess
if they'll go otherwise
they truly will happen...
as sure as the sun
will set in the west...
as sure as jim tressel
will wear a vest...
as surely as bugs
are nasty little pests...
and the men you know?
i'm definitely the best...
and of the story
I'll be like paul harvey
and you now know the rest!
loch ness...
it's all strangeness
miss agnes...
and to that i will confess...
so with my mind
please do not mess...
or things will get crazy...
no need to guess
if they'll go otherwise
they truly will happen...
as sure as the sun
will set in the west...
as sure as jim tressel
will wear a vest...
as surely as bugs
are nasty little pests...
and the men you know?
i'm definitely the best...
and of the story
I'll be like paul harvey
and you now know the rest!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Borders Bankruptcy
Borders, where I worked one Christmas season and where many of my friends had worked, has filed for bankruptcy.
I had read about a possible bankruptcy on the net and had noted it in my journal, but now it's official.
Here's the story, as reported by Reuters:
NEW YORK – Borders Group Inc., the second-largest U.S. bookstore chain, filed for bankruptcy protection, after years of sharp sales declines that made it impossible to manage its crushing debt load, and it plans to close nearly one-third of its stores.
I had read about a possible bankruptcy on the net and had noted it in my journal, but now it's official.
Here's the story, as reported by Reuters:
NEW YORK – Borders Group Inc., the second-largest U.S. bookstore chain, filed for bankruptcy protection, after years of sharp sales declines that made it impossible to manage its crushing debt load, and it plans to close nearly one-third of its stores.
Its inability to garner significant online business and its near absence from the growing digital books market have made it difficult for Borders to compete with larger rival Barnes & Noble Inc. and online retailer Amazon.com Inc.
Borders had liabilities of $1.29 billion and assets of $1.28 billion as of December 25, 2010, according to documents filed on Wednesday with U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Manhattan.
Borders Group President Mike Edward said in a statement that the chain "does not have the capital resources it needs to be a viable competitor."
Borders said in January it might have to file for bankruptcy if it could not meet certain conditions for securing a $550 million credit facility from GE Capital, a unit of General Electric Co.
It failed to meet those conditions, which included arranging financings with other lenders, vendors and landlords.
In bankruptcy, GE Capital will provide Borders with $505 million in debtor-in-possession financing to allow it to continue operating, contingent on court approval.
Borders, whose second largest shareholder William Ackman has said it was his worst investment ever, had been preserving its cash by delaying payments to suppliers, such as publishers and landlords.
Sales at Borders declined by double-digit percentage rates in 2008, 2009 and in each quarter in 2010 it has reported.
Borders, which has 6,100 full time staff, operates 508 namesake superstores as well as a chain of smaller Waldenbooks stores.
The company said it would close about 30 percent of its stores in the next several weeks and plans to continue to pay its employees.
Borders' largest unsecured creditors include major publishers that provide the books it sells. Borders owes Pearson PLC's Penguin $41.2 million, Hachette Book Group USA $36.9 million, and CBS's Simon & Schuster $33.8 million, according to court documents.
The case is In re: Borders Group Inc, U.S. Bankruptcy Court, Southern District of New York, No: 11-10614.
ADDENUM, FEBUARY 17: Borders has announced that it will close two of seven stores it runs in the Indianapolis area. One is in downtown Indianapolis. The other is in Carmel.
I wrote in this post that Borders has five stores in the metropolitan Indianapolis area. Besides the one in Carmel, it has one is Noblesville, two in northeast Indianapolis and one in Greenwood right across the Marion County line. I had forgotten about the store downtown. Also, I didn't know of a store it had at the Indianapolis International Airport.
But now, you have the correct information before you.
One Big Mistake
One big mistake I've made in my life is having a lack of courage, or acting like a coward, especially at work.
I have put up with idiots and the idiotic situations that theymade. I can only think of a handful of bosses who i respected as superiors. The rest were idiots who weren't better than me; they were just higher up on an organizational ladder. After I left, those bosses and their organizations were worth only my scorn.
As I look back, many people take silence as approval and acceptance. Unfortunately.
I blame myself. I never had the courage to get away from one thing I wanted: Approval of my father, who ran from confrontational situations and never...never...taught me...or even urged me...to stand up for myself.
The reason is that he never stood up for himself. His mother psychologically castrated him: Cut out his backbone, guts and balls. That's why I despise the bitch.
Meanwhile, his father was distant and didn't get emotionally involved with my father's raising.
I know the word cunt is the deepest insult for a woman...much like nigger is for black...but my paternal grandmother is the one woman who I would call cunt.
That's about it for this post. More self revelations to come.
I have put up with idiots and the idiotic situations that theymade. I can only think of a handful of bosses who i respected as superiors. The rest were idiots who weren't better than me; they were just higher up on an organizational ladder. After I left, those bosses and their organizations were worth only my scorn.
As I look back, many people take silence as approval and acceptance. Unfortunately.
I blame myself. I never had the courage to get away from one thing I wanted: Approval of my father, who ran from confrontational situations and never...never...taught me...or even urged me...to stand up for myself.
The reason is that he never stood up for himself. His mother psychologically castrated him: Cut out his backbone, guts and balls. That's why I despise the bitch.
Meanwhile, his father was distant and didn't get emotionally involved with my father's raising.
I know the word cunt is the deepest insult for a woman...much like nigger is for black...but my paternal grandmother is the one woman who I would call cunt.
That's about it for this post. More self revelations to come.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
An Admission And A New Direction
When I read and think about yesterday's post, I was surprised at how direct it was for me and what I've posted in this blog. Direct because I said there were some women who I just wanted to fuck with no concern for their wants and needs.
One was a Jewish woman with whom I worked at at newspaper in the Midwest. She admitted she was a J.A.P. -- a Jewish-American Princess. Yes, I know it's an ethnic slur, but she called herself that. Also, a J.A.P. is the Jewish version of the gentile Suzy Sorority. I despised her, yet she was one of the few women who worked at that newspaper who I wanted to fuck. That olive skin, that black hair, that Roman nose...damn, if I were decades younger I'd get an erection and masturbate -- or I could say get a hardon and jack off.
Yes, I am an angry, bitter, cynical, depressed and despairing middle-aged man. I have no lover in my life. I have few friends. I'm close only to one relative: My younger brother. I've given up on most of central Indiana, this state and the Midwest. I think it's conventional, conformist and conservative for the worst reasons: fear of change in general. Therefore, I'm a bit of a recluse because I find it hard to tolerate dealing with most people and don't know how to reject them or put them off without telling them to fuck themselves in all their holes.
I'm semi-retired, or haven't worked for at least three years, I'll admit that much. For now. Never did find a job that paid well enough or a career that satisfied me. If I had to do it all over again, I would've taken a civil service job with the federal government, put in at least 20 years and go from there. But it's too late for that. Or so I think and feel. I've inherited some money from my parents' estate and can live off it for a while.
Those are some of the details that I haven't written before. More will be coming. I guess it comes from the thaw we're having; two weeks ago, central Indiana had a terrible ice storm that shut down things for at least two days. and the desire for a new leaf...a green leaf...which is appropriate because spring will be here in about a month.
So...watch this space.
One was a Jewish woman with whom I worked at at newspaper in the Midwest. She admitted she was a J.A.P. -- a Jewish-American Princess. Yes, I know it's an ethnic slur, but she called herself that. Also, a J.A.P. is the Jewish version of the gentile Suzy Sorority. I despised her, yet she was one of the few women who worked at that newspaper who I wanted to fuck. That olive skin, that black hair, that Roman nose...damn, if I were decades younger I'd get an erection and masturbate -- or I could say get a hardon and jack off.
Yes, I am an angry, bitter, cynical, depressed and despairing middle-aged man. I have no lover in my life. I have few friends. I'm close only to one relative: My younger brother. I've given up on most of central Indiana, this state and the Midwest. I think it's conventional, conformist and conservative for the worst reasons: fear of change in general. Therefore, I'm a bit of a recluse because I find it hard to tolerate dealing with most people and don't know how to reject them or put them off without telling them to fuck themselves in all their holes.
I'm semi-retired, or haven't worked for at least three years, I'll admit that much. For now. Never did find a job that paid well enough or a career that satisfied me. If I had to do it all over again, I would've taken a civil service job with the federal government, put in at least 20 years and go from there. But it's too late for that. Or so I think and feel. I've inherited some money from my parents' estate and can live off it for a while.
Those are some of the details that I haven't written before. More will be coming. I guess it comes from the thaw we're having; two weeks ago, central Indiana had a terrible ice storm that shut down things for at least two days. and the desire for a new leaf...a green leaf...which is appropriate because spring will be here in about a month.
So...watch this space.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Valentine Notes
Today is St. Valentine's Day, a day to show your love to your lover, or whatever you and society call him or her.
I decided today to make a list of the women I wanted to fuck. Love, or at the least affection, I felt for some of them. But mostly it was lust: The desire to put my penis deep inside their vaginas for my sexual satisfaction. If they were satisfied, that was up to them.
I decided to do this because I'm an angry, cynical, depressed and despairing man these days. Also, I don't have a girlfriend or lover or wife who might be pissed off at my list.
Most of them I didn't fuck because of circumstances. Two big ones were their involvement with others and my cowardice to make a move.
I included women who were costudents in high school and college, some coworkers, some I knew outside those two areas, movie actress and porn stars.
I came up with between 45-50 names off the top of my head. That's much less than the 72 virgins that militant Moslem suicide bombers are promised when they enter Paradise. The list was longer when I made it before.
I won't name the women I knew out of courtesy to and respect for them. I won't name any movie actress or porn stars out of courtesy to and respect for me.
And as I thought of Valentine's Dayespecially its commercialization, I also thought of the people who complain about it but give in to social pressures to follow it and do nothing about resisting it.
No wonder this country will never have a broadbased revolution to change society. If people won't resist the commercialization of a minor holiday (few people, if any, automatically got today off work) because of what other people would think of them if they didn't go along with social expectations...well fuck them. They deserve the shit this life has to offer them.
To call these people pussies to insult good cats and good vaginas. Instead, call them by their rightful name:
COWARDS.
If you readers have someone in your life, I truly hope you and them had a happy Valentine's Day. I also hope you do all you can to keep having good Valentine's Days in the future.
I decided today to make a list of the women I wanted to fuck. Love, or at the least affection, I felt for some of them. But mostly it was lust: The desire to put my penis deep inside their vaginas for my sexual satisfaction. If they were satisfied, that was up to them.
I decided to do this because I'm an angry, cynical, depressed and despairing man these days. Also, I don't have a girlfriend or lover or wife who might be pissed off at my list.
Most of them I didn't fuck because of circumstances. Two big ones were their involvement with others and my cowardice to make a move.
I included women who were costudents in high school and college, some coworkers, some I knew outside those two areas, movie actress and porn stars.
I came up with between 45-50 names off the top of my head. That's much less than the 72 virgins that militant Moslem suicide bombers are promised when they enter Paradise. The list was longer when I made it before.
I won't name the women I knew out of courtesy to and respect for them. I won't name any movie actress or porn stars out of courtesy to and respect for me.
And as I thought of Valentine's Dayespecially its commercialization, I also thought of the people who complain about it but give in to social pressures to follow it and do nothing about resisting it.
No wonder this country will never have a broadbased revolution to change society. If people won't resist the commercialization of a minor holiday (few people, if any, automatically got today off work) because of what other people would think of them if they didn't go along with social expectations...well fuck them. They deserve the shit this life has to offer them.
To call these people pussies to insult good cats and good vaginas. Instead, call them by their rightful name:
COWARDS.
If you readers have someone in your life, I truly hope you and them had a happy Valentine's Day. I also hope you do all you can to keep having good Valentine's Days in the future.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Notes On The Super Bowl
The Green Bay Packers won their fourth Super Bowl Sunday night in Texas as they defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers 31-25.
I've found, when I surfed the internet today, that this story at slate.com is a very good combination of review and commentary about the game. To read it, please click here.
I guess the halftime show, featuring the Black Eyed Peas, was abominable. If so, less said better. No more about it.
Also, more than 111 million Americans watched at least part of the game. That sets a record. The old one was about 106 million, set last year.
One last thing...
Today's Indianapolis Star said it would be 363 days until Super Bowl 46 (I'll be damned if I use Roman numerals for them).
Indianapolis is scheduled to host the game if the NFL players and owners agree to a new collective bargaining agreement . The current one is set to expire March 4.
If:
- All sides get to an agreement;
- There is no lockout;
- There will be a regular season during 2011;
- And the Super Bowl will be played;
I must make sure my mind will not be butthurt.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
The Line To The Super Bowl...
The line of appearances, that is.
Sometime between 6 and 6:30 tonight, the Super Bowl will kick off. About four hours later, there will be a National Football League champion.
Representing the National Football Conference is the Green Bay Packers. Representing the American Football Conference is the Pittsburgh Steelers.
As for news and comments about the Super Bowl, please look for it elsewhere. There's a lot of it on the Internet.
Instead, I want to iemphasize this fact: The AFC has been represented in three teams for eight straight years and nine of the last ten. Besides the Steelers, the others are the Indianapolis Colts, my home team, and the New England Patriots.
This is no coincidence. They are among the bestrun franchises in the league because the owners -- the Rooney family of the Steelers, Jim Irsay of the Colts, and Robert Kraft of the Patriots -- hire the best people they can for personnel and coaching.
AND THEN STAY THE HELL OUT OF THEIR WAY.
That's worth repeating.
AND THEY STAY THE HELL OUT OF THEIR WAY.
This is opposed to two types of owners of NFL franchises:
This is relatively new territory for the Indianapolis and New England but their glory days started when Kraft bought the Patriots in 1994 and Irsay took over the Colts from his father in 1997.
As for which team I favor, I won't mind if either of them wins. A sentimental favorite among many seems to be the Packers.
However, I'll be listening to the game on the radio. My television set went on the fritz and I can't get it fixed until later this week.
I had planned to rent a room in a nearby motel and watch the game there, but bad weather has come across central Indiana during the last week. Heavy snows and freezing rain have fallen, and they have made traveling a little too tricky for me.
I remember that the Super Bowl is only a game. That's why I'm not going to a motel to watch it. If I fall asleep during it and miss a great deal of it, I can find out the results by going on the internet.
I hope you remember that it's only a game, too.
Sometime between 6 and 6:30 tonight, the Super Bowl will kick off. About four hours later, there will be a National Football League champion.
Representing the National Football Conference is the Green Bay Packers. Representing the American Football Conference is the Pittsburgh Steelers.
As for news and comments about the Super Bowl, please look for it elsewhere. There's a lot of it on the Internet.
Instead, I want to iemphasize this fact: The AFC has been represented in three teams for eight straight years and nine of the last ten. Besides the Steelers, the others are the Indianapolis Colts, my home team, and the New England Patriots.
This is no coincidence. They are among the bestrun franchises in the league because the owners -- the Rooney family of the Steelers, Jim Irsay of the Colts, and Robert Kraft of the Patriots -- hire the best people they can for personnel and coaching.
AND THEN STAY THE HELL OUT OF THEIR WAY.
That's worth repeating.
AND THEY STAY THE HELL OUT OF THEIR WAY.
This is opposed to two types of owners of NFL franchises:
- Those who interfere to the point of micromanagement. Among them are Jerry Jones of the Dallas Cowboys, Al Davis of the Oakland Raiders and Dan Snyder of the Washington Redskins.
- Those who don't seem to care. Those include the Bidwell family of the Arizona Cardinals and the Brown family of the Cincinnati Bengals.
This is relatively new territory for the Indianapolis and New England but their glory days started when Kraft bought the Patriots in 1994 and Irsay took over the Colts from his father in 1997.
As for which team I favor, I won't mind if either of them wins. A sentimental favorite among many seems to be the Packers.
However, I'll be listening to the game on the radio. My television set went on the fritz and I can't get it fixed until later this week.
I had planned to rent a room in a nearby motel and watch the game there, but bad weather has come across central Indiana during the last week. Heavy snows and freezing rain have fallen, and they have made traveling a little too tricky for me.
I remember that the Super Bowl is only a game. That's why I'm not going to a motel to watch it. If I fall asleep during it and miss a great deal of it, I can find out the results by going on the internet.
I hope you remember that it's only a game, too.
Friday, February 4, 2011
The Supremes And The Brady Bunch
Ace: Deuce, I have a question for you. How many Supreme Court justices can you name?
Deuce: Uh...Bush? And Clarence Thomas...who can forget him? Public hairs on Coke cans and all that. Also there's that Jewish lady...Ginsberg? Goldberg? Or is it Judge Judy? Oh...John Foster Marshall...Duke of Earl Warren...Frank Lee Wright...
Ace: Don't you mean Frank Lloyd Wright?
Deuce: Yeah. I couldn't remember his exact name.
Ace: Well, except for Clarence Thomas, you're way off. Although Judge Judy wouldn't be a bad choice.
Now I have another question: How many members of the Brady Bunch can you name?
Deuce: Easy. Marsha, Cindy, Jane, Peter, Bobby, Greg, Mom, Dad and Alice. Might as well count Alice. She was member in all but biological kinship.
Ace: You're right about all of them. Now, what does that say about you?
Deuce: That I'm kinda ignorant about the government?
Ace: At least the Supreme Court. And by the way...Frank Lloyd Wright was an architect.
*
ADDENUM: This is a reworking of something I saw on the internet.
Deuce: Uh...Bush? And Clarence Thomas...who can forget him? Public hairs on Coke cans and all that. Also there's that Jewish lady...Ginsberg? Goldberg? Or is it Judge Judy? Oh...John Foster Marshall...Duke of Earl Warren...Frank Lee Wright...
Ace: Don't you mean Frank Lloyd Wright?
Deuce: Yeah. I couldn't remember his exact name.
Ace: Well, except for Clarence Thomas, you're way off. Although Judge Judy wouldn't be a bad choice.
Now I have another question: How many members of the Brady Bunch can you name?
Deuce: Easy. Marsha, Cindy, Jane, Peter, Bobby, Greg, Mom, Dad and Alice. Might as well count Alice. She was member in all but biological kinship.
Ace: You're right about all of them. Now, what does that say about you?
Deuce: That I'm kinda ignorant about the government?
Ace: At least the Supreme Court. And by the way...Frank Lloyd Wright was an architect.
*
ADDENUM: This is a reworking of something I saw on the internet.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
My Blues...Not Lennon's
yes, i'm lonely.
wanna die.
yes, i'm lonely.
wanna die.
if i ain't dead already,
girl you know the reason why.
in the morning, wanna die.
in the evening, wanna die.
*
but in the afternoon, well, i feel a lot better because i eat a good lunch. i might have a bowl of soup, especially on cold days. i usually eat a piece of bread with a little peanut butter spread on it. i also eat some fruit and maybe have a light salad. after that, i take a nap for about an hour. then i'm good to go for the rest of the day!
girl, you know the reason why.
*
and now you know the rest of the story.
wanna die.
yes, i'm lonely.
wanna die.
if i ain't dead already,
girl you know the reason why.
in the morning, wanna die.
in the evening, wanna die.
*
but in the afternoon, well, i feel a lot better because i eat a good lunch. i might have a bowl of soup, especially on cold days. i usually eat a piece of bread with a little peanut butter spread on it. i also eat some fruit and maybe have a light salad. after that, i take a nap for about an hour. then i'm good to go for the rest of the day!
girl, you know the reason why.
*
and now you know the rest of the story.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Happy Birthday...
to Ulysses by James Joyce, published on this date back in 1922.Seen with one of its most well-known readers.
Among its lesser-known readers...yours truly.
So noted.
Also, some wag put this picture on a web site:
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