Ties And Other Items Of Clothing

Here's some more correspondence from my friend Frank. I post it here for your illumination:

i don't know why men wear ties ... do you? ... they're as relevant to clothes as the appendix is to your body ... we need to wear clothes because a lot of us just aren't reading for those nude modeling jobs ... it's obvious why you wear pants ... and you wear belts to keep them up ... shirts you wear for the same reason as pants ... and you wear a coat to keep warm ... ties don't keep your neck warm in cold weather ... at least not my neck ... scarves do that very well ... men wear ties so guidos can't unbutton their shirts and show of their chest hairs at work ... some men who wear ties with fancy patterns like paisleys ... do those patterns say i might be a dullard and my suits have no flair but this tie i'm wearing shows to those in the know my inner freak because it's in a paisley pattern ... it's an LSD thing ... tripping on acid ... you just might understand...