ace: 'twas the night before christmas,
and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring,
not even a mouse ...
because a psychopathic killer broke in
and slaughtered every living creature as they slept.
deuce: nice one, you crazy bastard.
ace: well, too many goddamn people are full of too much goddamn holiday cheer. i thought i would bring them back down to earth.
deuce: and not get their hopes up? or knock them down if they are up? do you do that because your hopes have been shattered too many times into too many pieces too numerous to count? just because you're bitter and broken, don't bring down other people during a time when a lot of people are nicer than usual. and that includes us.
ace: yeah. maybe. ok. but i will say this: during christmas time, retailers see you as a wallet with legs.
deuce: yeah, that's true. but i won't let that get me down. that is their attitude. i have a different one. i'm trying not to let the outside attitudes overly influence me.
ace: there's one thing i like about christmas. it's a time when people don't care if you eat, drink and be merry; especially if they're cross dresser.
deuce: good one.
ace: yeah. i see that you've indulged a bit.
deuce: i'll admit i have a gut. it's not a six pack -- it's more like a pony keg. but at least it's not a 55 gallon drum.
ace: they say the lord helps those who help themselves. and lord knows you're going to take second and third helpings of those holiday goodies -- like gingerbreak cookies, rum cakes, candy canes, and whatever else out there that is sweet and fattening.