Wednesday, December 10, 2008

the smartest talking dog in the world

most of my life, i've enjoyed a good shaggy dog story. wikipedia has a great explanation of what one is. to read it, click here.

this is my most favorite shaggy dog tale. in the future, i'll post others.


a man and a dog walk into a tavern and sit at the bar.

the man says, "bartender, please bring me a beer and a cheeseburger. and as for my dog here, please bring him a halfpound of raw ground beef and a bowl of water."

the bartender says, "look, fella, we don't allow animals in here. the board of health was in here last week and we got written up for health violations. we don't need any more grief."

the man says, "oh, but sir, this not just any old dog. this is a talking dog. and he's as smart and as civilized as any human being. if i prove this to you, will you let him stay?"

the bartender says, "ok. show me. and if it's true, your eats and drinks are on the house."

the man turns to the dog and says, "rover, what is the texture of the bark on a tree?"

the dog says, "rough."

the man says, "rover, what is the name of the thing that is at the top of a building?"

the dog says, "roof."

the man says, "rover, who was the greatest player to wear the pinstripes of the new york yankees?"

the dog says, "ruth."

the bartender is NOT impressed. he grabs the man and the dog by their respective collars and throw them out of the tavern.

the man stands up and brushes the dust off his clothes. the dog shakes himself to get ride of the dust in his coat of hair.

the dog then turns to the man and says, "do you think i should've said dimaggio?"

the man says, "or mantle ... or gehrig ... or jeter ..."

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