a man went to his doctor for his annual checkup and told him, "i have a problem."
the doctor said, "what is it?"
the man said, "every morning when i get up and look in the mirror, i feel like throwing up and then killing myself. what do you think is wrong?"
the doctor said, "offhand, i'm not sure. now i'm not an optometrist, but it's definitely not your eyesight."