toby cat

since it's the holiday season, i'll give everything on earth some brotherly love.

but there was one creature for which i never did. it was toby, my mother's cat. there was no lost love between he and me.

now if curiosity killed the cat, then stupidity definitely got toby stuck in a tree. at least one year, he was stuck in the same tree at three different times.

that was how he spent some of his nine lives. the other lives he spent either eating, sleeping, or giving off a bad attitude.

i was at my parents' house one december many years ago when i came across toby sleeping on a couch. he woke, saw me, and yawned widely. then he closed his eyes into slits and gave me a very dirty look.

he did that because i had interrupted a very important nap in his day. it was his fifth nap. that was the one where he got his beauty rest.

then he got up, hissed and arched his back. if i remember correctly, he started to scratch at the air with one of his front paws.

he was acting like he was some badass lion on the serenghetti plains of africa trying to scare me away. but i wasn't impressed with his pisspoor imitation.

"hey, toby," i said, "i want to find out of cats really land on their feet after a fall. you wanna go up on the roof and help me find out?"

he heard me. i know he did because he jumped off the couch and walked out of the room.

but before he left, he lifted his tail to show me what to kiss and where it was.