a man walked into a catholic church and went directly into a confessional booth.
"bless me, father, for i have sinner," he told the priest. "i have had sex with seven different women last week -- one every day. and not one of them was my wife."
the priest was silent for a couple of minutes. then he said, "my son, for your penance, go home and cut seven lemons in half. each lemon represents each woman with whom you have sinned. then squeeze the juice from the lemons into a glass and drink down that juice in one gulp."
the man said, "and by doing this penance, father, will i be forgiven for my sins in the eyes of god and the catholic church?"
the priest said, "no. but that will wipe that bigass shiteating grin off your face."