a good news hooker

mcnair wasn't dating. that was a mutual decision between him and the single women in his small town.

but he often had sexual desires that masturbation couldn't always satisfy. so every once in a while, he went to the big city -- which was about 60 miles from his house -- and solicit a hooker.

he usually went to an area a little east of the main business district. he often had seen hookers there before when he was in the big city on other business.

the last time he went, he found a hooker, who took him to a parked van. there, they did their business.

after they were through and were rearrainging their clothes, she told mcnair, "i have some good news for you."

when mcnair heard that, he thought the good news just might be a discount for the services rendered -- maybe half off the agreed price.

but it wasn't that.

"have you heard about jesus?" the hooker asked him. she then went on about the gospel and the bible and god's plan for the world.

mcnair was halfway listening to her. he didn't like it when people preached the gospel to him because he wasn't a religions man.

he also thought there was somethng strange about the situation, because when hookers start spreading the gospel, they usually stop spreading their legs for money.

"sweet heart," he said, "i'm glad to know that you're getting right with god. but ... why are you still doing this?"

"when the time's right, god will tell me when to get into another line of work," she said. "in the meantime, i'm giving all the money i make as a working girl to my minster. that's the reverend silkie. he's a free-lance pastor who preaches from the front seat of his lincoln continental. you usually see him in this area or just east of downtown. a lot of us working girls are members of his flock."

mcnair paid the full price.

while he was driving back to his small town, he thought:

men never get enough food, sex, and sports on tv. because of those things, i bet the salvation army would be a lot more successful in saving souls if they offered hookers and espn.