Wednesday, October 1, 2008


nassau went out drinking with his friend, sanders, to celebrate sanders' retirement from a position in the federal government.

"sanders," he said, "since you're now a retiree and on a fixed income, i'll pay for the beers."

sanders had a small laugh at the small joke.

"nassau," he said, "i'll pay for my share because i have enough money to make it through my retirement. but why don't you pay for the first round?"

"okay," nassau said.

as they drank, sanders told him about a benefit he never considered:

"one of the things that i especially liked about working for the feds was the days i was off work for a holiday and a lot of folks working in the 'private sector' were at their jobs. sometimes in the morning after rush hour, i'd drive by the office buildings downtown and thought: i'm getting over on the folks who were working, especially those bastards who bitch about paying their taxes.

"ya know what? sometimes i thought that i enjoyed that feeling a little more than i should have. but other times, i felt so righteous.

"at my first job after i got out of college -- in the 'private sector,' by the way -- my immediate supervisor and the rest of the middle management fools there used to bitch like hell about 'federal bureaucrats.' meanwhile, they were scared of the owner, who used to come by from time to time for an inspection. the office manager was scared to hell of him; he used to be as nervous as a teenager before his first big kiss. and while the owner forbid relatives of the employees from working at the company, his daughter used to work in the personnel department for the company.

"after i got another job, i never contacted those fools again."

"that's interesting," nassau said. "ya know, i've never been tempted to steal things. but as for borrowing -- without returning -- office supplies -- hell, i can't remember how many times i've done that. especially when i worked for x-----."

"that's theft, nassau."

"hey -- those bastards owed me. it was justified and justifiable compensation.

"but i was rasied to have at least a little bit of a conscience, so i had my limits. i'd take one item -- say a pen or a pad of post-it notes. maybe i'd take two of them. but i definitely would not take three or more of them."

No comments: